Thursday, October 7, 2010

Self Confidence

Realised I have turned into a negative person, haven't had any constructive self-talk to myself for years...

I miss the old me full of confidence, happy and motivated to do everything, try every new thing, why has Architecture made me into this? I used to scored A's with ease, I have excellent logical thinking, I have my own self discipline, but in this practise, I lost it, all.

Remembered I once talked to Sze Hua before entering architecture, don't look too highly of me, I will try, however am prepared for everything. Yes, now that we can conclude on the conversation, I am such a failure in this...

I try to love my course, my life, my living, but I cannot stop it from pushing me down, I hate it.

I am feeling harder and harder to breathe, go blank everytime I looking at the cad drawings, have no confidence, have no courage to talk to people, I have been looked down, I hate it.

May it just be something period, over, forward the time fast to pass through remaining 1 year 2 months, my only wish now...

Suddenly I miss riding around during wee hours on carless roads of KL city.


CarolAnn Edie said...

Hey Ken,

I just stumbled across your blog and I want you to know - you're not alone and it's not too late.

You seem unhappy, and like you've lost your confidence.

Make a change. In your life and in your mind - you can always choose to be happy again.

Start to see the great things about your life, about architecture, about you. Focus on those.

Good luck!

yasmin said...

hey beng!its me:yasmin..hehe..i felt dat way too..i guess we all (arhi students) cheer u up,i have always tot (since 1st yr) u might be a great architect someday..u hv ur own thoughts of mind and looked at things in other perspective..seriously..u r good..just throw away all ur negativity!seriously!

Ken Teh said...

Thanks Carol and Yasmin, yes, I will do my best to pull myself through this.