Thursday, October 7, 2010

Self Confidence

Realised I have turned into a negative person, haven't had any constructive self-talk to myself for years...

I miss the old me full of confidence, happy and motivated to do everything, try every new thing, why has Architecture made me into this? I used to scored A's with ease, I have excellent logical thinking, I have my own self discipline, but in this practise, I lost it, all.

Remembered I once talked to Sze Hua before entering architecture, don't look too highly of me, I will try, however am prepared for everything. Yes, now that we can conclude on the conversation, I am such a failure in this...

I try to love my course, my life, my living, but I cannot stop it from pushing me down, I hate it.

I am feeling harder and harder to breathe, go blank everytime I looking at the cad drawings, have no confidence, have no courage to talk to people, I have been looked down, I hate it.

May it just be something period, over, forward the time fast to pass through remaining 1 year 2 months, my only wish now...

Suddenly I miss riding around during wee hours on carless roads of KL city.

3 comments:

CarolAnn Edie said...

Hey Ken,

I just stumbled across your blog and I want you to know - you're not alone and it's not too late.

You seem unhappy, and like you've lost your confidence.

Make a change. In your life and in your mind - you can always choose to be happy again.

Start to see the great things about your life, about architecture, about you. Focus on those.

Good luck!
Love,
CarolAnn
http://CharismaU.com

yasmin said...

hey beng!its me:yasmin..hehe..i felt dat way too..i guess we all (arhi students) did..to cheer u up,i have always tot (since 1st yr) u might be a great architect someday..u hv ur own thoughts of mind and looked at things in other perspective..seriously..u r good..just throw away all ur negativity!seriously!

Ken Teh said...

Thanks Carol and Yasmin, yes, I will do my best to pull myself through this.